We might just have to go in on this blog, so I hope you’re ready. Writing weekly blogs has been fun but, it is sometimes embarrassing to put all of my business out there; however, I know that I’m not the only one going through a lot of the things that I am writing about and I think it is important to discuss them. When I attended church as a child, even in religious settings as an adult, I recall ministers preaching at folks; however, when the individuals in the congregation get home, they suffer in silence and wonder how to overcome shortcomings with a long term plan. Now this method of exposing faults may work for some people–it does not work for me. A lot of times I have to internalize it, make lists, or journal, but it takes being present regularly along with meditation to really understand the things that I deal with. Prayer alone helps, but action along with prayer is the best method more me to conquer a flaw, if you will, that gets in the way of being my highest spiritual self and connect with God on a deeper level.
Do not overrate what you have received, nor envy others. He who envies others does not obtain peace of mind. —Buddha
So this week, I wanted to deal with being envious. Why? Going through this process of finding purpose in my life has been a exciting, yet tumultuous time in my life. I have many mentors and I have to admit sometimes that I wish so much that I could have the gifts that they have. Watching people who are more effective at presenting in public, writing, or singing, deals a tremendous blow to my self-esteem from time to time. It doesn’t happen right away…most of the time it happens when I am alone and get to pondering about the impact that the individual has on not only me but to others as well. Then I think, wow, they really have their lives together. When meditating on the topics that I should write about today, envy was in the forefront and I started thinking. Does everyone really have it together but me or is it just me allowing my ego to control my whole being? It’s so easy to say, what God has for you, is for you; but being a human having a spiritual experience brings a whole other realm into view. If we were all as divine as the true and living God, I’m sure things would be a lot easier. SEE!!! There goes that envy thing again!!! Then again, no one can compare to the awesomeness of God. Anyhow, being human and having to work with our spirit, soul (mind, emotions, personality traits), and body is such a freaky phenomenon, at least for me. I know that there is a part of God that is within me and having to balance my divinity with my emotions, personality traits, thoughts, and my body? That is a hot mess waiting to happen. Sometimes I am crazy, and from what I am able to observe about other people as well, others experience the same. Judging people…wanting to be more right than the next person, stepping over others to get ahead, trash talking, just to name a few. Being envious, is something that I’m sure a lot of people have to deal with.
In a recent post by Telesian Technology, Inc., a marketing firm based out of Boston, MA, they found that the average person comes into contact with 5,000 ads a day. To me that seems to be a lot, but if you combine television, internet, and ads just seen while driving, that could possibly be true. And what are in these 5,000 ads? Cars from different manufacturers, large homes, clothes, food…you name it. What do we say when we see some of this stuff??? I gotta have that. When we see someone at work flaunting those shoes that we just saw on a commercial that we just saw last night, there is a high probability that there is some envy going on in the back of our minds. Envy can also happen with our spiritual or divine gifts. Case in point, when it comes to singing, I have been told that I have a phenomenal voice…I better have after spending a small fortune on getting my music degree…even though it’s not fully paid for. Student loans really suck…anyways, I have worked very hard for many days and hours to perfect my skill of singing and to excel at it. Now, I was trained classically, mind you, so I have been taught some of the greats in classical arias. My gift controlled and pure. My gift is not necessary ad-libbing or singing sickening R&B and Pop runs like Keke Wyatt, Christina Aguilera, or Usher…slick runs just don’t agree with my voice but when I hear someone on The Voice, I feel like I should be able to do the same. Or every time I go back home, and lucky enough to catch one of my Dad’s sermons…he is just so poignant and on point and has a way with his words and I just sit back and wonder why I wasn’t blessed with that gift since, hello…he is my Dad!
However, as it is written: “What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived” — the things God has prepared for those who love him. 1 Corinthians 2:9
When I begin to take inventory of all of the things I wish that I was or something that I want now that I’m a touch older, it gets easier to recognize when I need to just saddown (country for sit down. Pronounced sæ-daʊn) somewhere because my gifts are specially crafted FOR ME, to be used for someone that values my talents. Your gifts are specially crafted FOR YOU, to be used for someone that values your talents. Hence, the title “When Your Gift Don’t Fit, You Must Acquit.” Not in the sense of being relieved of a crime (unless that fits your situation), but to behave in or release yourself from the thoughts of your mind or the obligations of the ego. If you are trying to operate in someone else’s gift, do something that is not divinely destined for you, or trying to emulate someone, STOP! You and your gifts are here for a reason. Honor that thought and this freedom will put your spirit at peace, and this will translate into ultimate happiness instead of floundering about life allowing the wind to carry you where it will. I highly recommend meditation to be present in the moment. This practice can be hard for some people, although there is no right or wrong way to meditate. Meditation can be as simple as noticing when you inhale and exhale, or concentrating on a biblical verse, or a daily affirmation. I challenge you today to work on envy, as knowing and owning that you are unique is a gift in itself.
I release the spirit of envy from my heart, mind, and spirit. I choose to develop, work in, and thrive in the gifts that I have been blessed with. And so it is